As The Mole Turns
Episode I

FADE IN

INT. VARIOUS ROOMS - NIGHT

Twelve nervous players twist and untwist napkins while sitting at their keyboards, awaiting for the dreaded execution to happen. After an tedious technical glitch, several are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. One person, calmly plays with his yo-yo, chuckles gleefully at the tension, and blows bubbles in his milk.

VICKIE
Come on, come on! I've been waiting so long,
The tension and anxiety is unfair and wrong,
Execute the first person in the comfort of their home,
or I'll be forced to write another long, tedious poem.

JARON
Come on, come on, get rid of someone quick, I need to pee!

JENNA
Come on, Spotalk, hurry up! I know Jaron has to pee.
(pauses, opens journal, and begins to write)
I wonder if Jaron is single....

ANDY
Will someone %$@# the %#@$ and %$@#4 with a %^*&!

ROCKY
Oh god, please Ms. Librarian? Will you let me stay another five minutes if I promise to pay my library fine? I'll even check out a book or two.

PHIL
I've posted 1324 entires in my journal while waiting for the glitch to get fixed! Oh wait, I feel a 1000 more.....
(Phil burps)

JIM
(tipsy from a 1997 Merlot)
Now everyone can feel what I felt last week when I couldn't get into the room!

Alec strums guitar quietly while waiting, unphased.

KAREN
They will never find out my shoe size! I wonder if Jaron is single?

JACKIE
Ok, all of Hush now! Mommy's got to be the Mol... err, got to play her computer game. Go to your PS2 and trying not to kill each other.
(turns to keyboard)
Gee, I wonder if Jaron is single....

LISA
Come on, come on. I'm ready for the next puzzle. Just give me a second and I'll have it solved. Call a number, word search, anything! Oh, and I wonder if Jaron is single?

MAX
No one loves me! I'm going to take my margaritas and go home.

RYAN
Ok, I've totally solved all of the puzzles before they've even given them to me, written fourteen web pages, and rewired the US Government's internet system, what's next? Oh thanks, another exemption? Great!

MARK
(shaking dice vigorously, occasionally looking at computer screen)
Come on, lucky sevens! Come on! And I wonder if Jar...oh, never mind.

EQ
Sorry all for the technical goofs tonight. It seems that some moles were discovered around our cable line and were interfearing with our connections, but it seems to be working now.

JESTER
So if all of you will kindly go into the waiting area for the hundredth time, we will excute Phi... errr, someone.

XELDA
And no talking! If you do, I'll have to punish all of you, and you know what fun that will be! Our next puzzle will be written entirely in Russian.

STAY TUNED for the next episode of

"As the Mole Turns"

FADE OUT